Exploration is important for countries
In the past, lots of explorers from all around the world spent their lifetime on searching for a new continent because they wanted to have an unusual life. Is exploration negative or positive for a country? This is really difficult to answer, because all the experiences have advantages and disadvantages. A country's exploration to different places in the world is important although sometimes unpredictable events happen. Exploration is important for a country because it can enlarge territories and bring plentiful resources. However it can also cause some side effects such as a war that bring lots of damage for both two countries.
Exploration can enlarge the territories of the country and helps the country be powerful. Explorers found many new lands during the exploration that made the country bigger. Enlarged territory means the country can be puissant. Farming is really important for a country. The country can be richer because of the farming. The explorers can found more lands during the exploration that can stimulate farming. The more lands the countries have the more resources they have. On the other hand, the dimensions of domain also represent the droit. Thus, exploration is really important to a country.
Abundant resources can make the country wealthy and powerful, and the exploration can bring plentiful resources to a country. Therefore exploration is important to a country. As the history shows many resources was found during the exploration of someone. Explorer can find more oil, gas, gold... during the exploration. All of those goods can bring benefits to a country, like make the people richer. The country can use those things to exploit experiment and educate talent people. Talent people can help the country better and better because they can create more resources rather than to explore. Resources can help both people and country, actually they have a connection. Resources help the people to experience more and create more that make the country valuable. Consequently exploration is an indispensability part of a country.
Every event has both good and bad aspects. Just as the exploration can not only develop country but also can cause the conflict between two different countries that bring lots of harm. No one would like to let others to share the house that they live, so when the strangers come to your own family and want to take your stuff, you must feel very angry. Country is like the family in local people's mind so they don't be willing to lose everything that in their family. When aliens come, the local people always think of they want to breach their family. They try their best to have fight with the alien. When the explore find some goods in another country they always want to have a trade with the local people but not all the people like to have a trade with them so this also can cause the clash. Like the Donnacona doesn't want to have trades with Cartier, so the Cartier kidnapped his son. Therefore, exploration can cause damage.
Exploration is important to a country because it can enlarge territories and bring plentiful resources. However it can also cause some side effects such as war that bring lots of damage for countries along with all the other advantages. No exploration means no improve, no improve that the country can't develop. If the country not be developed the level of a country can't be raised, either. The exploration indirect proportion to the development. Exploration do more good than harm that develop the country and make the people happy although sometimes bad happened. Exploration is really important to a country!
1. What is your puppet show about? (5-8 sentences)
We have two puppet show. The first one is about the Cartier and Domagaya. So many sailors were died because of the scurvy. Domagaya knew how to cure sailors but he came up with some demands. Cartier agreed with him. Domagaya helped them to made vitamin-c-spruce tea and needles that saved many lives. Cartier was really happy that many lives can be saved.
The second one is about the Cartier met Donnacona for the first time. Donnacona was very passionate to greet them. Cartier wanted to have trades with him,but Donnacona disagreed then Cartier kidnapped his two son.
2.. Who are the characters? Which student is the voice of the character?
Cartier:Helen Zheng
Domagaya:Catherine Wu
Narrator 1& Sailor:Nancy Ju
A student who in grade 11 instead of Peter to do the narrator 2. Peter was ill on the weekend so he can't join us to make the video but he did a hard work on the materials.
3. What did you learn from making the puppet show? (3-5 sentences)
I learnt how to communicate better with my partners. During a team work we always have a disagreement,but it's really good for us. We can learn more from our partners. Everyone has his or her own ideas with some points so it's important for us to communicate with each other.
I also learnt how to make a puppet. I think my group did a really good job we tried our best to do with this project.
4. What do you want me to notice when I am marking your puppet show? (3-5 sentences)
I want you to see our background carefully. We paid lots of time to do the background. I can't promise our painting is really good because this picture finished by many different hands. We also used lots of time on puppet,please look carefully with the clothes that the puppet wear. The material that we used from our life.
5. Did your group work well together? Tell me 3 reasons why or why not.
I think my group worked well together. All of us communicate better with each others. We did most of the work together. We cooperated very well because all of us are friends in the life we know each other well. Each member in my group are very patient to do the works and listen to others' opinion. I am enjoying working with my group members.
Focus 3/4
ReplyDeleteYour third body paragraph doesn't match your essay. You need to talk about exploration and the importance of exploration from the beginning of your essay to the end. You cannot put in the pros and cons in the middle of your essay. It doesn't match. If you do talk about it, you need to connect it back to the topic.
Organization 3/4
Read the comment for focus.
I like your introduction and the conclusion. It doesn't sound too cliche.
Content 3/4
The part about the aliens is not really clear. All of a sudden you talk about strangers but you don't really introduce this idea enough to help the reader follow what you are writing.
Usage 3.5/4
Most of your writing reads well. There are some little mistakes. Remember to read your essay more than once. The beginning of your essay is better than the end of your essay. There are more mistakes near the end.
Style 3/4
You have a formal style from the beginning of your essay to the end. Remember not to use "..." because it can be very informal in an essay. You only use "..." for the use of longer quotations in a literary essay.
Overall, I know you worked very hard on this essay. It is getting better.
15.5/20 x2 = 31/40